You don understand and I wonder if you ever will. I’ve tried so many times to explain it. I told you one of my biggest triggers, and you don’t even try to stop doing it. Instead you turn the blame on me.
I understand that in your past, someone acted crazy once around you while doing something I also do. That is very different than being completely isolated from my friends and family for over a decade by a raging narcissist. You see I was systematically stripped of my identity and self worth in ways I can´t fully put into words and then I watched him start to do it to our children.
When we finally got away from him he unleashed a fury we are still reeling from. I’m scared much of the time because of my past. That trigger I told you about, actually, every trigger I’ve told you about was a desperate plea from me. We got away from the narcissist but you can bring him right back in an instant. He instilled so much fear in us which is exactly what you do when you don’t even try to stop.
No, it wasn’t you who did those horrible things to us. You just spark frightening flashbacks and expect us to let it go and understand you are having a difficult time coping with life. How selfish of you. If you don’t stop then you don’t care. You don’t understand.