That’s how I feel. I know I’m getting better but losing that dream almost takes my breath away. I realize now it was doomed from the begining. Both of us so broken already. So much the same but so very different. I feel lighter, less frazzled. I feel sad and releived. I feel the loss. A hole in my being. It will heal better if there is no more us. I wasn’t ready. I don’t know if I ever will be. I saw the pattern and all the signs. So much clearer now but so are my inactions. A pattern itself. I must be strong and head down the best path. I’m still working on it.