The New Girlfriend

I must admit my relief at discovering my ex found a new girlfriend.  This meant all the energy he focused on me was now directed at someone else.  There was some guilt in my feeling of relief because I know what he’s doing to her.  He’s building her up so high she must believe the man of her dreams has finally arrived and they will live happily ever after.  Soon enough though, he will start chipping away at her to eventually dominate every move.  Better her than me, right?  Well, that was until I learned she moved in with him and brought along her young son.  Many hours were spent worrying about this child, and I considered contacting her to give a fair warning about the future.  Unfortunately, I understand where she is at, and no one can penetrate his control until she is ready to hear it.  I can only hope she figures it out faster than I did and gets out.  I can’t help her now, and my meddling would just bring more chaos into her life and that of her son.  Wake up, honey.  Wake up quick.  He has perfected his art, and his mask is almost magical.  It will come off, and the truth behind it will devastate much more than you could ever know.

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Author: Undeniably Sara

Hi, I'm Undeniably Sara. I'm learning how to live well with chronic illnesses by focusing on self-healing with the goal of lifelong health.

15 thoughts on “The New Girlfriend”

  1. I’m very sorry about you having to learn that your ex is/will be performing the same moves on this new girl as he did you. It’s very unfortunate, and I understand why you’d be concerned for this person and her son. That’s thoughtful of you to want to warn her, but sometimes, as I’ve learned, people have to learn on their own in reference to their choices.

    Take care and God bless!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Amanda. A difficult lesson that took me years to learn was how insulated I was within his bubble on control. No one was able to help me because I couldn’t see the truth. It was terribly painful but necessary for me to find the truth myself. I feel for others in the same situation but understand they too must find their own truth.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I just got out of a “relationship” with a guy like that. We’ve been dating for 6 months, and at the beginning he seemed like the perfect man (he is a writer too, and we have so much in common). He was extremely charming, and did things like taking off his suit-jacket so that I could sit on the grass with him. It was all an act though, and soon showed his true colours. When I talked about wanting to kill myself, he said “I don’t want any blame in this. your decision to kill yourself is yours alone” and when I begged him to watch a film or have some coffee on my bday as I was going to be alone, he said he’d rather relax. Then, when I asked him to chat with me as I felt too suicidal, he told me off saying I shouldn’t use him as a suicide hotline. He did lots of other things too, but that would be a long list. I’m glad you got out, and hope you’re doing well. Hopefully this new girl will see his true colours soon too.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It’s hard to feel so deeply and being in a relationship with someone who tramples on your most sensitive feelings is very hurtful. I hope the time away from this person brings you healing and more hope for the future.

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  3. I watched my ex go through a long list of gfs over the last two decades. That last paragraph shows great wisdom on your part. Happy New Year. Love your blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ve been there and I broke up with him in Feb and I’m still trying to shake him off. He gets in the way whenever I meet someone. He’s done so many things and he still thinks he’s a good person. He’s vile. Well done for feeling relieved xxxxxxx

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      1. He’s tried to engineer it so I need him – but I’m really good at life it’s him who’s dependent on me. Yes, I just need him gone. It’s so nice to talk to someone who understands exactly what sustained and insane abuse this has been. Going to see him on Monday now… one week at a time. I was getting really into my blog all day yesterday and he obviously wanted all my attention so he started putting weird videos on youtube. I wasn’t paying attention and they got steadily worse. I feel psychologically abused by what he chose to put on and their specific relevance to my life. Needless to say my health is bad now he’s around. Going to get friending hardcore and work on my health and punch his presence in the face. I’m not too weak for this, even as he tells me I’m crazy and to take diazepam when I think a crush might be requited. Time to get rid.

        Liked by 1 person

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