Singing My Song

My upbringing encouraged me to hold in my emotions and deny my secrets.  While this muting was not malicious, it resulted in devastating consequences for my life.  A strong person, I was taught, was one who did not react to emotional situations.  Only strong people restrain themselves and their feelings.  Love was one of the emotions kept under wraps encompassing the physical and verbal expressions.  In the end, hiding the abuse my children and I suffered at the hands of their father/my ex-husband resulted in physical and emotional illness, job loss and financial ruin.  I can’t help but wonder how different things would be if I was encouraged to share my thoughts and feelings.  It is difficult and many times uncomfortable to share my story or “sing my song” but I know the process is healing and I am determined to prevail.

be1fe7f167bcdeb8586275cfe24b3cc7

Advertisements

Author: Undeniably Sara

Hi, I'm Undeniably Sara. I'm learning how to live well with chronic illnesses by focusing on self-healing with the goal of lifelong health.

30 thoughts on “Singing My Song”

    1. Yes, disastrous is a good description. I also felt utterly unprepared to deal the presence of strong emotions shown by those outside my family. Expression of emotion was so foreign to me I just froze – not knowing what to do.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. The world’s most abominable cage is the one that keeps us firmly wedged within the walls of our own skull. I’m glad you are seeing your way out.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I was raised in silence. Something my mother has regrets with but she was dealing with the same mental and emotional abuse her kids were dealing with. Being a mother and protector myself it is hard knowing I have allowed suffering for my daughter on my behalf, due to my substance abuse and mental illness. I express verses repress so much today to not live a life of regret like my mother. Coping and healing AND being a mother is extremely hard but we are not alone. Please continue to sing your song because I relate to your version!! Thank you♡

    Liked by 2 people

    1. My mom had a tough childhood, and I understand now how difficult it was for her to raise us. She was remarkably resilient but suffered in silence which is a pattern I hope to break with my children. You are right, being a mother during the healing process is hard but all too common.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My lovely, I’m not sure how old your children are, but my daughter is now 19 and I have been able to break the chain. My mother was abused as a child and became the abuser. My counselling has taught me that abused children/teens sadly often become the abuser, even if it manifests itself as psychological abuse, OR they become a victim. I became a victim … but have managed to recognise the signs through professional help, “Living with the dominator” programme and a subsequent “Self-Esteem” programme.
        My children are aware (not in detail) about my journey and have watched me grow in strength. I am close to my daughter but do not rely on her and protect from the internal struggles. Those, when they come (like the beetles in ‘The Mummy’) I seek solace through my amazing women refuge team. Because I found sharing them with people I assumed were friends, and whom initially would offer a shoulder and some “ooooh dear, just leave him” were simply not qualified to deal effectively with it, and our friendships suffered.
        I can’t wait to read more about your story Sara, hear your songs and watch you fly. The view from the sky up here is bloody beautiful! xxxx

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You already will be helping them achieve it … the fact you recognise the chain is hugely important.
        They will be fine. You are important right now though … you have much to enjoy in life xx

        Liked by 1 person

Please let me know your thoughts.

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s