My upbringing encouraged me to hold in my emotions and deny my secrets. While this muting was not malicious, it resulted in devastating consequences for my life. A strong person, I was taught, was one who did not react to emotional situations. They restrain themselves and their feelings. Love was one of the emotions kept under wraps in my home including physical and verbal expressions of love.
In the end, hiding the abuse inflicted by the narcissist resulted in physical and emotional illness, job loss, and financial ruin. I can’t help but wonder how different things would be if I were encouraged to share my thoughts and feelings as a child. It is difficult and many times uncomfortable to share my story or “sing my song,” but I know the process is healing, and I am determined to prevail.