I have repeated many things I was too ignorant to repair. At one point I merely thought I just had bad luck with relationships. Many times I was told relationship failures were solely my responsibility. In truth, healthy boundaries were nonexistent in my life, and it took lots of pain and loss for me to see that.
Now I understand that because I did not respect myself, I allowed others to disrespect me. So, there is some validity to the statement that my failed relationships were my fault. I failed to repair my broken pieces and that invited manipulative, abusive people into my life. The process of repairing is well underway but still incomplete making me fear any new relationship.
I am hopeful that someday I will be well enough to have a healthy relationship. Until then being single and focusing on raising my children is more than enough to fill my days while the repairs continue.
A lot of people are more comfortable with playing the blame game. The hardest part about life is coming to terms with what part you have played in how yours is being executed. We, don’t always remember that, WE TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US! I commend you for not only understanding your own faults and flaws, but also accepting them. Your journey of recognition may seem like a battle, but happiness is sure to follow!!! Thanks for sharing!! (side note: YOUR POSTS TRULY HELP ME) Have a wonderful day!!!
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Thank you. I agree with you and please know that writing this blog helps me too.
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Confirming your truth. I have found myself repeating patterns, so there HAS to be something in what I’m doing. I’m the only consistent component of these recurrent issues. 🙂
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For me it was a startling realization but one that I had to accept and act on if I ever expected to heal. Best wishes to you.
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Single isn’t bad. I’ve known people to go from one relationship to another, and they always seem to attract the same type of person. Often, they’ve used the relationship to define who they are as a person, or that a relationship is what adds value to their lives. I think that being single can help with discovery with one’s self. Something that seems to get lost many times with a relationship. Good on you! I look forward to reading more about your growth.
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I agree, being single is not a bad thing. I look forward to continued growth.
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You’ve been nominated for the Mystery Blogger Award! http://barbnatividadblog.com/2018/01/12/the-mystery-blogger-award/
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Thank you, Barb.
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You’re welcome 😊
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Hi there, I’ve only recently discovered your blog but from what I’ve seen, it looks great and I like how you talk about self healing. I’ve nominated you for the Liebster Award and have mentioned you in my post about it 😅
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Thank you very much.
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I agree that I have had to come to terms with my own role in the abuse I suffered. Abuse is not our fault, but yes, we can make changes to not let ourselves be a victim to it again.
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I completely agree.
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continually working on improving ourselves is the best thing you can do. sometimes by the time you repair one thing, I find I need to repair something else or re-adjust boundaries again
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Yes, with the repair of one broken piece many times another broken piece can be identified as needing mending.
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For me it requires maintenance, continuously checking where I’m at and making small adjustments accordingly. I do this by being in nature and meditation, which reconnect me to the “dwightness” Source intended. My soul then smiles and I know I’m in tune. Your “Sara-ness” is starting to shine through!!
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It is similar for me, Dwight and I am a huge fan of nature and meditation. Thank you for your kind words of support.
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WOW. Me too. Awesome and honest. Thank you.
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My pleasure.
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Reblogged this on Women Who Think Too Much by Jeanne Marie and commented:
Love this…
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Thank you for the re blog.
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Great post and you’re right. You dictate how others treat you. You are also responsible for changing your behaviors. I applaud you for doing all of the above. You are courageous and beautiful 😊
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Thank you so much.
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I know how you feel and I admire you even more for what you’re doing. I was just like this, and it was hard in the beginning getting used to being independent. Sounds better then alone I always say lol! Best of luck to you!
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Thank you and I very much appreciate the words of support for the future.
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💚💛💜
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Wow I feel like I’m in the same boat… the serenity prayer has helped me a lot and just trying to go within yourself to really address traumas and release them there is nothing wrong with being single at least we know we have the ability to grow 😊
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I agree, it’s important to let go of things we have no control over and focus on what we can influence. Being single is no problem for me but society and family often impress upon us that we need a partner. I say no partner is better than an abusive one any day!
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