Co-Parenting with a Narcissist, lol

There is no co-parenting with a narcissist – only hurt and despair.  The health and welfare of our children were never his priorities, and during the divorce, my children were manipulated to obtain information about me.  They were all under age ten and missed their daddy even though he was abusive towards them.  Just wanting to spend time with their dad they instead were met with demands to secretly remove items from their childhood home for him and met with rage and fury if they did not comply.  They were grilled relentlessly about my activities and screamed at when he heard something he did not like.  He screamed at our young children because he was mad at me.  I’m an adult, and his screaming and tantrums mean something different to me.  This behavior towards the children was incredibly destructive and painful for them  Eventually, the children told me they no longer wished to visit their dad, and he finally moved hundreds of miles away, slowly cutting off contact until this past Christmas there was no contact at all. There is no co-parenting with a narcissist-only damage control.

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Author: Undeniably Sara

Hi, I'm Undeniably Sara. I'm learning how to live well with chronic illnesses by focusing on self-healing with the goal of lifelong health.

19 thoughts on “Co-Parenting with a Narcissist, lol”

  1. I’m terribly sorry you, and so many others, have had to deal with abuse from a narcissist. I suspect my parents are on the narcissistic spectrum ( I would call them mild), and I also ended up married to someone who was abusive and is a sociopath. I wish healthy relationships was something we learned in school, I would have liked to have avoided that waste of 8 years. Lol

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    1. It seems narcissistic abuse is quite common. I agree with you that it would be helpful if healthy relationships were taught in school. I think the early intervention would be good for victims and potential abusers alike. Life is far to short to spend even a minute being abused.

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    1. I’m sorry your dad is a narcissist. I know that had to be difficult for you. I can relate to your comment about your mom. I used to just sit and wait for something bad to happen because inevitably it would and I had to be there to protect the kids.

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  2. My husband’s ex-wife is a narcissistic sociopath. I completely understand. There is no co-parenting. It’s as you say, damage control, and right now I’m not even sure we’re able to do that. With best wishes and understanding …

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  3. I was “lucky” enough that my narcissistic husband leave me two weeks after our son was stillborn, so I don’t have to go through the constant pain, frustration and I’m sure exasperation that you and your gorgeous children have to endure. In all of your posts I can see my ex, so I have so much empathy for what you are going through. Stay strong and count your blessings that at least you aren’t still married to him xx

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  4. My dad did this. It was horrible. I may have been a people pleaser before him but after him, I became a doormat and handed people the shoes (my daighter’s words).

    He died when I was 16 but I married him to make sure I wouldn’t forget.

    I’m glad your children have you to care about them and to care. I’m sorry about this past Christmas but maybe they were relieved?

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    1. I’m sorry you had such a negative experience with your father. I fret over my children and their experiences. It is so very true that many times we end up marrying a person just like a difficult parent. Ugh! I know the kids are hurt when their father ignores them during holidays and birthdays but they do not wish to have any contact with him. It must be a conflicting emotion for them.

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