Poisoned by Trauma

The damage from abuse is like a slow acting poison requiring a painful antidote.  Sometimes I find it hard to remember what it felt like to be trapped in an abusive relationship and then a trigger brings a flashback encompassing every sensory detail.  Numbing the pain and emotions allowed me to stumble through life for a few years, but eventually, my deteriorating condition forced me to confront the trauma.  Chronic, debilitating migraines were the primary physical manifestation of my unprocessed trauma.  These migraines significantly interfered with my ability to work and care for my children, but if it was not for this physical ailment, I might have delayed my search for help even longer.  In working towards reducing the migraines, I met several wonderful and caring doctors, physical therapists, counselors and everyday people who helped me get back on my feet.  There are so many things I would do to keep from ever having another migraine, but I acknowledge they are the proverbial straw that broke the camels back and started my healing journey.  The process has been excruciatingly slow at times, but I am much stronger now and have a great deal more patience.  The poison is still leaving me, and the antidote is unpleasant, but in the end I will be free.

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Author: Undeniably Sara

Hi, I'm Undeniably Sara. I'm learning how to live well with chronic illnesses by focusing on self-healing with the goal of lifelong health.

15 thoughts on “Poisoned by Trauma”

  1. The past never goes away…but as each day passes a fog begins to develop for me and pain lessons and even for a little bit the future doesn’t have such a haziness to it. It’s taken a long long time. I hope you find that as well. Trauma is never easy! TC

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  2. You are in my thoughts and I hope you get better. Wishing you all the best and strength to pull you through these hard times. I hope in some way writing about it helps because I think it’s so great you can share it. Time heals all wounds, that is all I got. I wish I could say more, but know even as a new follower I truly support you. Take care. xo

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  3. Sara, I cannot thank you enough for the contents of your blogs. NO ONE can understand CPTSD-no professional, no bleeding heart, no empath-unless they have experienced the abuse themselves. If enough time goes by, our hearts heal-but never, ever our minds. The pain of invalidation, being treated as somehow less of a person, the triangulation….and the gaslighting-incredible pain at the hands of people who are supposed to cherish us as much as we cherish them. Please know I love you and support you, always~

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