There is no progress in blaming others, but I refuse to feel bad for the narcissist. It is possible, even likely, that he suffered trauma in his childhood, but that does not make his actions acceptable.
Maybe, when he was still a young child, I could feel some empathy towards him, but the narcissist I know is a grown man who stands almost a foot taller than me and outweighs me by over one hundred pounds. His physical stature is intimidating to me, and I shudder to think of the perception my children had of him when they were young.
Regardless of his size advantage, he held nothing back while raging and thundering at us. I may understand part of why he is damaged, but I will not feel sorry for him.
I had this narcissist coworker recently. Because I was going somewhere and she wasn’t, she would always find ways to level accusations at me or make me look like I was doing something wrong, when I wasn’t.
It’s nice that she is in the past now. These people are so small, they live to make others small so they can seem big in their own head. And I’ve noticed they often grow (actual) big heads too.
Anyway, perhaps something did happen to them in childhood. It is more than likely. However, like all of us, to bring childhood hurts into adulthood is like deciding to remain that abused child throughout life. Wouldn’t it be better to face and sort through the problem, and then dispense with it? But that would require accepting (maybe at least partial) responsibility for how we are and moving into adult mode.
Idk. It’s just me, being the heyoka that I am. I wish people would face these problems and then get on with life.
There are times when we have to mention the past and sort, but no reason to live there. That is what all these narcissists are doing: choosing to remain small, when they could actually be big, …adults, instead of being merely big headed.
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The workplace seems to be full of narcissists ready to step on others on their way up the ladder. I agree, if more of us could resolve those deep seeded issues that drive our fears and negative behaviors they world may be a different place.
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Speaking of that, can I share?
https://thejobblog.net/job-taking-things-new-direction/
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Absolutely!
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Beautiful and desperately sad. You’re so brave … well done x
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You are very kind.
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Channel the despair into repair; trim and mend and trim like a Bonsai tree.
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Yes, yes, a hundred times yes. The thing about narcissism (that I discovered through my own intuition and higher wisdom, during a hypnotherapy healing session) is, when a person is broken in that way, they’re not even aware that they have a problem. They think the problem lies with everyone around them – so they don’t seek to change or seek out healing work. They constantly act out, trying to find any sort of semblance of themselves or their own power, taking it and demanding it from those around them (especially the younger, smaller, weaker, more sensitive and empathetic ones), leaving a path of pain and destruction in their wake. But obviously, I don’t have to tell you this. My mother had a tinge of narcissism thrown into her bipolar mix. Which got passed right down to my older brother. Healing ourselves is truly the best revenge.
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The narcissist is the only good, smart, and reasonable person in the world. Everyone else is crazy and out to get them. Ugh!
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