Discovering that I was married to a complete stranger to me after thirteen years was life-changing. The narcissist painted a picture and spun a story specifically tailored to seduce me into believing he was everything I wanted. I was terribly naive for not realizing he could be a narcissist. My sin was believing him and overlooking every sign that would lead me to see the truth until it was much too late. I do not love him, and I never did because narcissists are nothing but pure fiction.
You saw past his fiction and found the truth! I wonder how many people are still reading his fictional stories of lies? You are an extremely brave and strong woman!
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I am so thankful I finally saw him for who he was. Thank you for your kind words.
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I asked my therapist how I could have lived so long and not seen. He said: “It’s a testimony to your loving nature that you made it work for so long.” Your intentions were pure. Be gentle with yourself.
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I like your therapist for explaining it that way. I never wanted a broken family for my children so I tried desperately to please someone who can never be happy. Thank you for your comment. It helps.
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I’m twenty years out, and let me say that life just keeps getting better.
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This is a lovely comment and very comforting.
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Thank you for writing this.
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It is my pleasure.
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I empathize, it was both frustrating and validating when it clicked that the person I married was an illusion. I’m glad you and your children are away from him, I hope each day things get a little better for you.
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Thank you and I’m sorry you had a similar experience. I am thankful everyday that my children have this time to heal and grow so that if they choose to have some sort of relationship with him later in life they will have the skills to see through his mask and keep themselves safe.
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Short but very powerful. Took me by surprise. Congrats.
Lawrence
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Thank you, Lawrence.
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You’re welcome. I meant it.
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Comforting to read that we have not been alone in this experience. The reason behind my poem this morning. Clink the chains….. Thank you for sharing š
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Amen! I agree with you. Put a BIG X on the Ex and focus on right now and the future. Don’t give him the satisfaction of writing about him. Focus on YOU and leave him behind. You are a new person who sees clearly and has a Tribe that surrounds you with LOVE, PEACE, and JOY!
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hugs thanks for checking out my blog btw!
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I believe we can only love, or have feelings about, our idea of someone or something. Anything else is impossible. Our feelings and emotions stop at our own skin. Internal feedback only. Only from this viewpoint have I been able to understand my own feelings and emotions and their cause.
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Powerful words, very well written. š
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I absolutely loved this. I shared it on mine I loved it so much! Itās true. He shows you the person he wants you to see, then once heās no longer interested, the other side of him comes out. The one that shows you never really knew him at all in the first place. He gets to move on, but we are left with all the mess to wade through and pick up and try to put back together.
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Yes, he moves on and we are left to pick up the pieces, but once we are put back together we have the opportunity to grow while he stays the same behind his mask.
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Very true. And I finally realized that he’s the one that’s unhappy. It isn’t me. That was a hard lesson. I am still who I was from the beginning. I feel pity he chooses that life.
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