I always felt I needed someone to make me happy, but I was wrong. People in my life made me feel like there was something wrong with me if I wasn’t married or dating someone. My experience has proven that I am most unhappy while in a bad relationship and there is nothing wrong with being alone. Never again will I allow someone in my life so that other people will see me as a better person while I suffer in silence with the knowledge that things are very wrong. The next person I allow into my life will be a positive addition to my world or nothing at all because I am happy right now, alone.
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Reblogged this on The Militant Negro™.
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..for some alone is good, for others alone is best. We all need to know where we should land. You are intelligent , keep the landing gear up until you know.
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Hear, hear. I’m in the same boat. The, “Are you seeing anyone?” and “Have you gotten back out there yet?” questions are starting to increase in frequency and it’s hard to not respond with, “Why the heck would want to do that?” Fact is, if it happens with someone new it will, but I’ll be damned if I ever again get into (and stay in) a relationship because everyone around me thinks I should.
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So true. It wasn’t until after my divorce that I learned how to be happy alone. When I met my second husband, I wasn’t even looking for a relationship or dating.
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Same here–after my second ex, actually.
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Good. I’m happy for you, Barb 🙂
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My mantra is:
“Learning to be happy on your own is one of the best things you’ll ever do for yourself…and for any future relationship you might choose.”
For more than one reason…you learn that happiness doesn’t depend on a relationship, on how anyone else sees you, or on how happy you make them.
You learn your worth.
You’re less likely to put up with behaviors that make you unhappy or are abusive when or if you do decide to be with someone else.
You’re less likely to fall into a relationship because of loneliness or because you buy into thinking you need someone to ‘complete’ you.
You won’t overwhelm another with the feeling they are responsible for you and your happiness.
When you choose someone, you and they know it’s a choice, not desperation.
You aren’t giving them power over you, you’re choosing to share your life with them.
I used to say “learn to be on your own first, then with someone else” but the reality is many of us don’t. And it isn’t hopeless if we didn’t. ❤
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I completely agree with you. We should not be measured having a relationship or not. When I was married all anyone would talk to me about was my (then) husband and his job, I didn’t matter. Got old fast. You do you, be who you want to be.
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I have always felt that I would rather be alone and happy than miserable with someone else. I think you must learn to be alone with yourself and love yourself before you can have healthy relationships. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being single!!
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Yes yes yes! There is nothing wrong with being single, and people should stop passing judgment on us single gals.
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Yes I am so with you on that! Also after the end of my marriage I became self aware of my boundary problems… so need to work on myself. But being alone never felt so good!
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Nailed it. Unless there is positivity and growth, you don’t want to be tied to another person who’ll only drag you down. The societal pressure we get is insane, but it is after all up to us, how much we give in. Being single and working on yourself is the best.
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People have given up asking me, they’ve finally come to realise that I prefer my own company.
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I am the opposite lol. I hate being alone and am very unhappy when I’m alone.
Which is probably why I stayed in my bad relationship (well that and my fear that I’d never be able to find someone else lol). But I’m glad that he left me in the asshole way that he did.
I was happier without my ex husband. I never thought I would be and I was glad that I got to learn how happy I could be without him. I was unhappy not having someone in my life like that, but I refused to settle for someone I didn’t like or any of the creeps and pervs that appeared in my life after him.
Good for you! You don’t have to justify yourself to anyone though. You happy alone? Then be alone! You want a romantic life? Get it on your terms and don’t settle for anything less even if people tell you you’re being too picky and need to lower your standards or expectations.
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hi, I’ve nominated you for the versatile bloggers award, enjoy!
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Thank you.
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Your welcome 🙂
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Absolutely agree!! I am married but I do enjoy my alone time. My husband does not understand fully how I could want to be alone. I need the peace and quiet to pray and read the Bible and refresh to be a better me 🙂 If things fall apart between he and me, I will be happy alone. One should want a person to add to his/her happiness not BE the happiness 🙂
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I totally understand where you’re coming from. I’ve been single for two years and I don’t feel like there’s anything wrong with me. I love being single. I feel stressed out in a relationship because I haven’t found the right person, but I promise to myself and to you that our day will come!
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