An Excellent Father

In front of others, the narcissist let the kids do whatever they wanted. They could climb the walls, and he would just sit there with a smile on his face. Once we were alone, the narcissist raged at them, screaming about how they embarrassed him. He launched vile threats at our children to thwart future bad behavior. Some people were wise enough to sense something wasn’t quite right, but they couldn’t know how terrible it actually was when we were alone.

I once thought the narcissist was unable to control himself, but this type of behavior made it clear. He knew what he was doing all along. He managed his rage when people were watching, masking it to preserve his public image, which was always more important than our children. Even now, after the divorce and court-ordered psychiatric exams diagnosing him with narcissistic personality disorder, he presents himself as “an excellent father,” but we know it’s only for show.

925cf968dbb12e840aa8f9d35c0cb411

Author: Undeniably Sara

Abuse is an unfortunate reality in this world and is more than physical assault. The invisible trauma we suffer can result in chronic illness, which is a relentless beast gnawing away at the soundness of mind. Education and support from others are vital in the healing journey.

16 thoughts on “An Excellent Father”

  1. There is nothing worse than living with someone who goes about their daily life with the intention of pleasing others at the expense of their own children’s happiness. Nothing worse at all. I am so sorry for your experience.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Almost immediately I left them alone with him even for a minute, there would be uproar and/or explosions. If other people were around, he would often just ignore them whilst he chatted. I found how he behaved would depend on who was around. Behind closed doors, it was mostly all me.
    I would watch what he was trying to do. When people do not acknowledge children unless they are doing something negative, I think it can be a deliberate attempt to train them to do negative things. Everything was ten times harder with him around. Also any time they(children and even sometimes adults) try to do anything for themselves, narcissistic people in my experience will try to tell them they are not doing it right and want to take over. People(especially children) can end up feeling useless and demoralised.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My God, were we married to the same man …. This is exactly what my ex-husband used to do. He’d make out that he was the perfect father and husband and then when everyone left …. he was a completely different person. Vile, utterly vile. Sending you big hugs … huge hugs. You’re very brave. X

    Liked by 1 person

  4. My ex-husband was like this. Although he let his loving and attentive father slip in front of an Aunt she noticed him shove my son away on to the floor when he thought nobody was looking. Psychopaths. Blessings and miracles for you the pain endured in this kind of relationship hits on every level. At least your out of this now.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I am a domestic violence survivor. I was able to get out of my situation after fifteen and a half years of marriage. Today, I am blessed to have a wonderful husband second time around. We’ve been married for sixteen years now and he never treated me with disrespect. My ex left a terrible impact on me that it caused me to suffer with a lot of anxiety and lack of self-esteem. I have to take it one day at a time.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. The first step, getting out, isn’t the hardest. It’s the forgiving yourself for staying so long. You’re an amazing mom and someday, you’ll feel it too. Hugs from a mum on a similar journey.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Yep, I feel like I know him — the wolf in sheep’s clothing. The man who portrays himself as if he’s humble but really dying for praise and attention. It’s surreal to realize you, too, were once a believer of that facade– isn’t it??Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply to Ali Cancel reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s