The Passage of Pain

Migraine is often passed on from mother to daughter. Image: Migraine Action 436

So many things are passed on to our children including some of our most significant struggles.  What a joy it is to see the positive aspects of family traits reflected in our children and what a devastating reality it is to see them struggle with pain.  My youngest daughter has migraines.  She got them from me. My mom and my maternal grandmother both had migraines, and I suspect this genetic condition goes back many generations more than any of us know.

Today, after missing another school day, my sweet daughter is in bed with her head on an ice pack and her room as dark as can be in the middle of the day. I know exactly how she feels, yet I am powerless to end her pain. It was just after she was born that my migraines became chronic and, ultimately, intractable. She knows what her future could hold, and it both scares her and makes her sad.

Another journey is at hand because we must find a way to control/prevent my daughter’s migraine attacks before they take over her life. I’m so sorry little one. It is part of who we are, but I won’t let it overtake you.

Author: Undeniably Sara

Abuse is an unfortunate reality in this world and is more than physical assault. The invisible trauma we suffer can result in chronic illness, which is a relentless beast gnawing away at the soundness of mind. Education and support from others are vital in the healing journey.

16 thoughts on “The Passage of Pain”

  1. I am so sorry to hear about you ad your daughter’s fight with migraines. That must be so difficult and I know it’s hard to think of passing something like that onto your child but think of the positives too she sees that you are a fighter and focusing on health and self-healing and she’s going to remember that and focus on the strength that you have passed onto her as well.

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  2. I’m very sorry to hear that your daughter also has migraines. I started migraines about 7 years old. It is a challenging life. One I wouldn not wish on anyone. I did not have a parent with migraines but I did have a grandmother that had them. Thankfully, your daughter has you to turn to for strength. I hope you both find the right combinations of things that work to keep the migraines at bay.

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  3. I also started with migraines after having children, especially so after my second child. Then it progressed into overall fibromyalgia pain. I get botox injections, otherwise I could not function. I do worry about my daughter and what it will look for her, too. It is so hard to be the mom I wanted to be. It sounds like you give her strength and comfort. That’s all we can ask for!

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  4. …Also wanted to add that my self-healing journey has helped me so far so I hope it continues to work for you! I do a lot of meditation, trying to calm my nervous system down…etc. etc. 🙂

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  5. Oh! Looks like my first post didn’t post. Try again…! I just wanted to say that I wonder if there’s a correlation between chronic pain/illness and giving birth. My chronic pain started after giving birth. I wonder if it’s something to do with the shock to the system? Particularly those who had traumatic births. I’ll never know for sure. I do know my nervous system, particularly the nerves in my pelvis, just stopped functioning properly post-birth (I have pudendal neuralgia). Hard to now be on disability, just as a result of giving birth (partly my dr’s fault as I should have had a c-section).

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    1. That is an interesting question. I noticed my migraines became much more severe after the birth of my fourth child. I suspect that also had something to do with the stress of raising 4 children while working full time and having a less than supportive husband. So sorry to hear about your traumatic birth story. We are in such a vulnerable state while giving birth and give such trust to the medical professionals to make the best decisions. Sometimes they let us down. I hope you find healing.


  6. I inherited migraines from my Dad’s side of the family. My sisters, Aunts and cousins mostly on his side of the family suffer. Dad says he hasn’t had a headache since his stroke 7 years ago but that isn’t really the cure I am hoping for…:(

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    1. I’d choose a migraine over a stroke any day. I worked with a man the same age as my dad, who struggled with migraine his entire life. When my friend was about 70, he had open-heart surgery and was shocked to find he never had another migraine. He spoke to his doctor and apparently, there is a nerve that runs across the sternum, which is cut during open-heart surgery, and that is why the migraines stopped. There isn’t much talk about it because most people would choose migraine over open-heart surgery.


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