The Passage of Pain

So many things are passed on to our children including some of our most significant struggles.  What a joy it is to see the positive aspects of family traits reflected in our children and what a devastating reality it is to see them struggle with pain.  My youngest daughter has migraines.  She got them from me. My mom and my maternal grandmother both had migraines, and I suspect this genetic condition goes back many generations more than any of us know.

Today, after missing yet another day of school, my sweet daughter is in bed with her head on an ice pack and her room as dark as can be in the middle of the day.  I know exactly how she feels yet I am powerless to end her pain.  It was just after she was born that my migraines became chronic and ultimately, intractable.  She knows what her future could hold and it both scares her and makes her sad.  Another journey is at hand because we must find a way to control/prevent her migraines before they take over her life.  “I’m so sorry little one.  It is part of who we are, but I won’t let it overtake you.”

migraine-art-like-mother-like-daughter-mac-436
Migraine is often passed on from mother to daughter. Image: Migraine Action 436
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Author: Undeniably Sara

Hi, I'm Undeniably Sara. I'm learning how to live well with chronic illnesses by focusing on self-healing with the goal of lifelong health.

12 thoughts on “The Passage of Pain”

  1. I am so sorry to hear about you ad your daughter’s fight with migraines. That must be so difficult and I know it’s hard to think of passing something like that onto your child but think of the positives too she sees that you are a fighter and focusing on health and self-healing and she’s going to remember that and focus on the strength that you have passed onto her as well.

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  2. I’m very sorry to hear that your daughter also has migraines. I started migraines about 7 years old. It is a challenging life. One I wouldn not wish on anyone. I did not have a parent with migraines but I did have a grandmother that had them. Thankfully, your daughter has you to turn to for strength. I hope you both find the right combinations of things that work to keep the migraines at bay.

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  3. I also started with migraines after having children, especially so after my second child. Then it progressed into overall fibromyalgia pain. I get botox injections, otherwise I could not function. I do worry about my daughter and what it will look for her, too. It is so hard to be the mom I wanted to be. It sounds like you give her strength and comfort. That’s all we can ask for!

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  4. …Also wanted to add that my self-healing journey has helped me so far so I hope it continues to work for you! I do a lot of meditation, trying to calm my nervous system down…etc. etc. 🙂

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  5. Oh! Looks like my first post didn’t post. Try again…! I just wanted to say that I wonder if there’s a correlation between chronic pain/illness and giving birth. My chronic pain started after giving birth. I wonder if it’s something to do with the shock to the system? Particularly those who had traumatic births. I’ll never know for sure. I do know my nervous system, particularly the nerves in my pelvis, just stopped functioning properly post-birth (I have pudendal neuralgia). Hard to now be on disability, just as a result of giving birth (partly my dr’s fault as I should have had a c-section).

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