Undeniably Sara is a personal blog about surviving narcissistic abuse, fighting chronic illness, and beginning a healing journey.
I spent many years married to a man who was later diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). By the time I realized he was wearing a mask, we were already married with a baby on the way. For so long, I tried to change myself to keep the peace, but nothing worked. The thought of our children growing up in a broken home was devastating but better than living with our abuser. Early one morning, I escaped with our three children. I thought everything would be okay once we were away from him, but he tried furiously to gain control over us again. Once he moved hundreds of miles away and established a new supply, I began to research NPD and found educating myself to be enlightening. And then came the next battle.
I was struggling with chronic migraines towards the end of my marriage, but they attacked me with a vengeance soon after the divorce. Comorbidities such as anxiety and depression are common with migraine, and they wasted no time settling into my bones. In addition, I struggled to sleep at night because of the nightmares of my ex-husband, breaking into the house, and attacking me. Every loud noise and sudden movement made me jump, and I was unable to concentrate at work, eventually leading to an additional diagnosis of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD). Right in the middle of my life, the harsh reality of multiple chronic illnesses hit me like a sucker punch. For a time, I was in disbelief, but the fact that I lost my long term job and was almost entirely bedridden forced me to believe it was really happening.
The most crushing blow came when my children started exhibiting symptoms related to the trauma of living in an abusive environment. Anxiety and depression moved in and they too were struggling to sleep through the night because of nightmares about their dad. I watched them jump and cower at the same loud noises and sudden movements that tormented me and they began to have problems in school. Then came symptoms of physical illness like chest pains from extreme anxiety, an increase in asthma attacks, and the diagnosis of chronic migraine. All three children were also diagnosed with CPTSD. The fight is so much more pressing when it involves the children, and the guilt is unbearable.
Reaching out for help was the most critical step in our journey. So many good people are out there and want to help when we find the courage to ask. Since then, I’ve been on a healing journey along with my children enduring many bumps, dips, twists, and turns along the way. I’ve found education is a crucial component of healing. Along with telling my story and sharing helpful information I’ve collected along the way. I share my experiences and healing journey as a method of self-healing but also to encourage others along their journey.
“Abuse is an unfortunate reality in this world and is more than physical assault. The invisible trauma we suffer can result in chronic illness, which is a relentless beast gnawing away at the soundness of mind. Education and support from others are vital in the healing journey.”
― Undeniably Sara
What People Say
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
“No matter what stage of illness we are in, whether we’ve just been diagnosed or we have lived with chronic migraines for decades, there are adjustments we can make to increase joy and in our lives and to live more fully.”Sarah Hackley
“Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.”Margaret Mead
Want to learn more about narcissistic abuse, share your experiences, and help support others? Join my Facebook group, The Other Side of Narcissistic Abuse. See you on the other side.