Waiting for a Friend

I’m finally ready to be friends with my body.  We don’t always see eye to eye, but without each other, we aren’t going to get very far.  I have abused my body and refused to listen to its calls for help, but it is still willing to be my friend.  My body, when cherished and nurtured is my best friend, and I look forward to watching this friendship grow.



The Repair Shop

I have repeated many things I was too ignorant to repair.  At one point I merely thought I just had bad luck with relationships.  Many times I was told relationship failures were solely my responsibility.  In truth, healthy boundaries were nonexistent in my life, and it took lots of pain and loss for me to see that.  Now I understand that because I did not respect myself, I allowed others to disrespect me. So, there is some validity to the statement that my failed relationships were my fault.  I failed to repair my broken pieces and that invited manipulative, abusive people into my life.  The process of repairing is well underway but still incomplete making me fear any new relationship.  I am hopeful that someday I will be well enough to have a healthy relationship.  Until then being single and focusing on raising my children is more than enough to fill my days while the repairs continue.


Painful Self-Care Lesson

A lesson learned most painfully is often the most effective.  I allowed myself to become desperately ill to take care of everyone and everything else.  In the end, I was unable to do anything.  Once I started caring for myself, I was able to care for others again.


Walk with the Dragon Flies



I walk with the Dragon Flies today.  I know the time is fleeting but it is spectacular.  Little living helicopters  with beautiful colors.  Blues, greens blacks and all colors of the rainbow sparkling in the sun.  Buzzing up and down, side to side furiously.  Living fully but quickly.  All too soon the Dragon Flies will leave for another year.  Tomorrow I walk with the Dragon Flies…

The Simplest Things


Eat well, get plenty of rest and regular exercise. How many times have I heard this? Enough that it sounds like the adults speaking in a Charlie Brown movie. I don’t believe I’ve followed that advice in the past. I spent too many years eating chips and soda and not a meal. Exercise was no fun. Who wants to get all sweaty and stinky anyway? Sleep is a fantasy with four children.  As my mind continues to clear I can see how simple the answer. I can eat well, get plenty of rest and regular exercise. These are now my priorities. It may seem selfish to focus on myself. It would be easier for me to give up. Getting better is hard, but my loved ones deserve to have me healthy and productive. I’m there for them. Everything else will fall into place. I will keep trying every day to improve my health. I will get there by doing the simplest things.

Pearl’s Chicken Swing


We have four lovely chickens and two ducks.  Lately, I’ve noticed the chickens seem a little bored.  The ducks spend most of the day happily swimming in the pond.  I keep finding the chickens standing on the steps to the duck pond just looking in. I don’t expect the chickens to take up swimming. Instead, I made them a swing.

I’ve seen chicken swings on the web before and the design seemed simple enough for me to make.  I found a branch about the diameter they like to perch on and long enough they could all sit on it at once.  I simply tied some rope to each end of the branch and then tied the other end to a branch on the apple tree growing in their run.

The chickens paid no attention to the swing, so we put the “queen” chicken, Pearl, on the swing first.  She is very calm and doesn’t seem to mind being handled.  Pearl sat on the swing for a bit then jumped off.  We put each of the other chickens on the swing one at a time.  Pearl is the only one who will sit on it for any length of time.   I believe they will warm up to it and I feel better that they have something else to do besides watching the ducks swim.