Truth

The truth is I  let them stay much too long.  A narcissist doesn’t know when to leave, and they get comfortable with what they have. They expect you to always be there and when the moment of truth arrives they are shocked and can’t believe you want them to leave. Narcissists don’t leave quietly, and what a frightening journey that is.

The Scream

No reason to talk anymore to the narcissist. My words are just background noise and not worth wasting breath. I wait for the right time to act then I’ll be gone and will never take you back.

Truth or Opinion?

Just because you say something over and over again. Just because you yell and shove it down my throat doesn´t make it true. Mr. Narcissist, you have many opinions and few truths.

Fear and Dignity

I kept my mouth shut, at first, out of fear, but now I choose my words carefully because I’ve got some dignity.

Fighting

I’m fighting Complex PTSD, and

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Chronic Migraine EVERYDAY.  Why?

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Because I’ve already survived all of this…

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Waiting

 

I waited, knowing it would come. Maybe in a minute, perhaps in several hours, but it always came. I had to be there when the narcissist was around to make sure it didn’t get worse. When I didn’t wait, and when I wasn’t there, it was always escalated and amplified. I prayed for an end, dreamed, and longed for it, but instead, life stagnated and festered. It didn’t end until I made it stop, and it was treacherous and frightening, but utterly necessary.

I find myself waiting again with another narcissist. It’s not so bad this time, at least not on the surface. He has different ways, wears a different mask, and tells different lies. It’s bad enough that I failed to notice the signs again. Now, I’m waiting for an end, and I’m petrified. I know it won’t end until I make it stop, and I’m even more afraid this time because I know what lies ahead.