I’ll Crawl If I Must

This recent struggle is overwhelming and at times, unbearable. It feels like running a marathon and sensing the finish line is within reach, but suddenly being forced to run with two broken legs. It is the exhaustion setting in along with the absence of rest that weighs so heavily on the body and mind.

There is no option to quit. There is no option for failure. I will crawl if I must, dragging these broken and bloody legs behind me to claim the prize – healing, rest, and, most of all, peace.

818adcaf4bd477c6122e0a66f2e22abe

Out of Order

2ae14a994d89921e8ef57481cc90a9f6
Unknown Artist

This picture symbolizes how I feel today and all of last week with a non-stop migraine. I’ve been out of order but still trying to function. Every task requires so much more effort. I make so many mistakes that take even more time to go back and correct. The pain has subsided – for now, but I am thoroughly exhausted.

My body feels heavy and weak. My brain feels like it is swimming in soggy oatmeal, and my thoughts are slow and shallow. When I talk, many words are forgotten, slurred, or mispronounced. I make no sense, and I recognize the look on my children’s faces. They are worried, scared, and try to help me, all the while warning me not to do too much. “We don’t want your migraines to get any worse,” they say.

Chronic migraine hurts, and it scares my children. The latest migraine attack is the first time in many months a migraine has lasted more than a day or two. I’m desperate for the end of this episode.