Showing the Scars

Imagine if we could see the emotional pain and scars represented on the skin of those around us. Festering, oozing, open sores on the skin of those still trapped in their pain and black and blue bruises covering the bodies of those beginning to heal.  What about those with scars?  Some may hide the scars, embarrassed by their pain and past struggle even though they had to be so very strong just to survive. Those with scars that show, uncovered in the sun, for all to see may be the strongest of all.  These are the scars of people who were strong enough to survive, heal, and continue living despite their past.  How different would we relate to people if we could see their internal pain? How different would we present ourselves if our past was visible on our skin?



The Root of Education


I’ll Crawl If I Must

This recent struggle is overwhelming and at times, unbearable.  It feels like running a marathon and sensing the finish line is within reach, but suddenly being forced to run with two broken legs.  It is the exhaustion setting in along with the absence of rest that weighs so heavily on the body and mind. There is no option to quit. There is no option for failure. I will crawl if I must, dragging these broken and bloody legs behind me to claim the prize – healing, rest and most of all, peace.


The Memory of Trauma

I first learned about the idea of traumatic memories being difficult to explain with words in relation to young children. If we experience trauma at a young age (before we learn to talk), describing the experience with words is very difficult. I didn’t realize that no matter what age trauma is experienced, it is difficult to describe with words because the memory is more of a feeling. No wonder we struggle to explain how it feels. The words just aren’t there.


Abundant Beauty

This is an incredible quote by Anne Frank.  Despite all the misery, hate and sorrow in the word there is still abundant beauty.  I can see it in the smiling faces of my children, and in the warm greeting, I get from the dog every, single time I come home.  The trees still leaf out every spring, the grass greens up, and the flowers bloom.  The wind blows and clears the air, and the snow covers everything in clean white crystals.  The beauty is everywhere if we can lift the veil of misery to see it.  It is a struggle, and the battle wages every day but the fight is worth it to see the beauty.


Ready to Grow

Just over two years ago I finally made an appointment for a physical after avoiding the doctor for almost five years.  I was ready to seek help for my migraines again after numerous negative experiences with medication and neurologists who let my concerns fall on deaf ears.  This time my doctor listened to me because I insisted on being heard and this time I considered my symptoms might be more than physical.  I took myself to see a therapist who confirmed my theory that the migraines are related to past, unprocessed trauma. The old me would have never stepped foot into a therapists office. Instead, I would have downed more pills from the doctor so I could keep working and continuing my path to destruction.  I once thought losing my job would destroy my life but instead it was the catalyst for a new phase in my life.


The Raging Giant

There is no progress in blaming others, but I refuse to feel bad for the narcissist.  It is possible, even likely that he suffered trauma in his childhood but that does not make his actions acceptable.  Maybe, when he was still a young child, I could feel significant empathy towards him.  The narcissist I know is a grown man who stood almost a foot taller than me and outweighed me by over one hundred pounds.  If that is not intimidating, I shudder to think of the perception my children had when they were young.  Regardless of his size advantage, he held nothing back while raging and thundering at us.  I may understand part of why you were damaged, but I will not feel sorry for you.